I don't want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse
-Pippin, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
-Pippin, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Orientation began on Monday, which I should be thankful for; many of my former classmates (former? that is sad to type) began much sooner. Many who know me well know I have become quite the nervous ninny over the last few years, and this has not waned. Heading into orientation, I was so nervous I could hardly sleep.
It's hard to say why. Beginning a new year, maybe I expected a speech like those Dr. Bruce D. gave us every year: "This next year will be 4 times as hard as last, you will need to study all the time, and for most of you it still won't be enough, and you will probably all fail out". Fortunately this has not occurred, but I am still not at ease. Partially because I am incredibly homesick. Not only are Susan and Anara not here yet, I am actually living in a motel til I close on my house on Friday. But also because I miss Fort Worth and all my family, and it has really sunk in: I am going to be away for atleast 3 years.
The other part has to do with the quote at the top: Intern year will suck, but twiddling my thumbs waiting for it to be here is almost worse. I am motivated to study by fear at the moment, but all my books are packed away in Fort Worth. I know this all seems to be fairly normal, but that isn't helping me much.
Two side notes: One, I will try to post more often, because this post had about 17 points that I seemed to only lightly touch on. Two, I have been disappointed in one thing about the program: They seem to have magically changed up a few of the things that made me rank them higher in the first place.
It's hard to say why. Beginning a new year, maybe I expected a speech like those Dr. Bruce D. gave us every year: "This next year will be 4 times as hard as last, you will need to study all the time, and for most of you it still won't be enough, and you will probably all fail out". Fortunately this has not occurred, but I am still not at ease. Partially because I am incredibly homesick. Not only are Susan and Anara not here yet, I am actually living in a motel til I close on my house on Friday. But also because I miss Fort Worth and all my family, and it has really sunk in: I am going to be away for atleast 3 years.
The other part has to do with the quote at the top: Intern year will suck, but twiddling my thumbs waiting for it to be here is almost worse. I am motivated to study by fear at the moment, but all my books are packed away in Fort Worth. I know this all seems to be fairly normal, but that isn't helping me much.
Two side notes: One, I will try to post more often, because this post had about 17 points that I seemed to only lightly touch on. Two, I have been disappointed in one thing about the program: They seem to have magically changed up a few of the things that made me rank them higher in the first place.
5 comments:
I know what you mean; I still miss TX a lot, but the homesickness wanes a bit after a) your family joins you; b) you meet new people; or c) you start working. I haven't picked up a book in months and start my ER rotation tomorrow, so hopefully I remember *something* ;)
Yea I can completely sympathize with this entry. I really, really missed TX and seeing friends, and family. When I had to take my parents to the airport back to Houston, I started to tear up. It was mostly b/c it finally sank in that I am alone in a new city, and had to take car of everything myself from now on. Orientation started and I quickly made some friends and its gotten so much better. So the homesickness does pass.
I start colorectal surgery floor medicine, July 1. I have no idea what it entails and I don't even know where to begin studying.
I highly recommend you go to the socials for new interns so they don't think you are anti-social. It's way more comfortable finding a group of friends early rather than trying to find them later on in the year.
Thanks guys for the words of advice. It always helps knowing you're not alone!
I just got to shake this; I woke up at 4:15 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.
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